Errata

It has come to Crusher's attention that Crusher has not included Ms. L. the Freakishly Uncool in Crusher's list of crushes. While Crusher already has instructed Crusher's legal representation to draw up papers, to be delivered to Ms. Freakishly Uncool's squadron of attorneys, that explain the matter in full detail, nonetheless Crusher wants to explain here the essential basis for that omission.

Crusher did not include Ms. Freakishly Uncool in Crusher's list of crushes for the fairly pertinent reason that Crusher does not have a crush on her. That omission is, therefore, not one of the errors implied in this post's subject line.

No, the first error lies in Crusher not also stating that Ms. Lina the Freakishly C. is . . . the epitome, the quintessence, the incarnation, the Form of lovely womanness. She is Crusher's Laura. She is Crusher's Beatrice. She is a righteous babe, in other words. No, she is the most righteous most babe. To call her one of Crusher's crushes, therefore, is to call the Sistine Chapel a hasty pencil sketch on the back of a damp beer mat.

The second error?

Opening the door this morning.

The fucking bastard fucking Lina sent to fuck up Crusher's face fucking well fucked up Crusher's face.

Fuck, that hurt.

And then that fucking bastard, after fucking well fucking up Crusher's fucking face, fucking peed on Crusher's fucking carpet.